Player, Fuckboy, Dickhead are just some of the names I have become used to being called as a single male on the dating scene. Now this is a really tough one, writing for an all-female blog, with a predominantly female readership…. guess what we aren’t all arseholes. Or so I think but ill let you all decide at the end.
Right so let’s get down to business. Over the last year or so since I began dating again, I have been on a number of dates with varying levels of success. Now honestly zero of these dates have gone on to become partners or even girlfriends but that does not make me a player. It simply means for me they have not been “the one” you know that thing we are all searching for whether or not we choose to openly admit it. After deciding to return to the dating scene I made a promise to myself that this is all I will settle for and anything less is not worth pursuing. To find the girl who I want to spend the rest of my life with I have set myself 4 simple rules for dating those of the fairer sex
1. Be myself/yourself: this sounds so fucking cheesy but it’s true and probably my most important rule. I find that when dating we all try so hard to portray this perfect version of ourselves which is complete and utter bollox. Don’t hide your oddities or weirdness and I won’t hide mine. We all want someone to love us for who we are so why not start as we mean to go on.
2. Honesty: Again simple as you like but a lesson like many men I have learnt the hard way. Without going into detail I have learnt from my mistakes so if you ask a question or for my opinion, expect the truth whether you like it or not.
3. Hanky Panky is off the table. Never thought you would hear a guy say that one right? but honestly it’s true, for me what is between someone’s ears is infinitely more attractive than what’s between the legs. 90% of a relationship is talking so let’s concentrate on that….. Funnily enough this approach actually guarantees I will get in your pants, seriously I’ll never understand women.
4. Zero Bullshit: no games, no messing around I operate on a strict 3 date rule. If at that point in time I don’t think you’re the one then that’s it game over. I just don’t see the point in wasting my or more importantly your time. The right guy is out there for you, just ain’t me. Doing the right thing really does paint you as the bad guy sometimes but oh well that’s how it goes.
So these are my simple rules as a male on the dating scene. It may sound logical and straight forward but it sure as shit isn’t. In the Tinder era of dating, nothing is that simple. Actually once I managed to date two sisters one after the other, obviously I looked like a giant dirtbag but sure how was I to know. Just imagine the reaction when they realised within two weeks they had both been out with the same guy…. Disaster!
I don’t think I’m the bad guy, I’m just a guy who knows what he wants and is determined to find it. Maybe it’s because I watched too many Disney flicks down the years, maybe it’s a romanticised notion of what love is, who knows.
All I know is she is out there, that girl who every time I look at her brings a little smile to my face, that one who when I hear her speak all I want to do is listen, that girl who when I kiss her nothing else in the world matters for time stands still and it just feels right.
Sounds crazy? I don’t think so. Too many I might be seen as a “fuckboy” or a player but as Nadine herself as said here settling for less is not an option. That girl I described is out there, I know she is, I have to believe she exists otherwise, maybe I am just a player.
This article was kindly contributed by a talented, gorgeous, gentleman friend of mine who wishes to remain annonomous. Thank you for sharing your perspective. It means a lot to me that you did it here.
Would the reader’s like to hear more stories from the male perspective or hear stories of dates, good, bad or indifferent? Let us know in the comments below.