Slate your Date Fuck GIRL

Fuckgirl

Don’t hear that too often, am I right?

Apparently Urban Dictionary can’t even give it it’s own definition:

girl who engages in fuckboy behavior, generally thinks they are god’s gift to the earth and use words like “thirsty” “salty” “fuckboy” and “hater

Fuckboy is a term used far too often. The fact that the term even exists proves that romance is a dying art.

Asshole boy who is into strictly sexual relationships; he will lead a girl on and let her down, then apologize only to ask for “pics” once the girl has welcomed him back into her trust. Boys like this will pretend to genuinely care about the girl but always fail to prove the supposed affection.

In an attempt to avoid being a fuck boy’s victim, I have started explaining exactly what I am interested in before I even go on a date. Tuesday night I met a very lovely Dubliner after the Ireland game. Saddened by the fact he might not get a trip to Russia after all, I offered a sympathetic ear. Turns out he wasn’t just upset about the football, at 31 years of age, his family were pressuring him to settle down, or maybe even just settle.. I also decided to let him in on a few home truths, saying I don’t want one night stands, to date anyone currently dating anyone else or anyone who sexts me before it is deemed appropriate. He took my number but never called.

Friday I met another alleged gentleman who insisted on walking me home. Despite my interrogation and mission statements,  he was oh so disappointed and even surprised when I wouldn’t let him over the doorstep and of course I haven’t heard from him either.

The last few months have led me to identify a few characteristics of fuckboy behaviour, course these can apply to normal humans too, but is generally rare in my experience:

  1. Over enthusiastic – writes to you again on a different topic, even if you haven’t replied
  2.  Tells you he’s just looking for a nice girl
  3. Plans successive extremely romantic dates as if you’re already his girlfriend
  4. Talks personal. About his family, ex girlfriends etc.
  5. Jumps at the opportunity to meet you more than once in the first week, you know, so that it doesn’t look so obvious that he is about to fuck you and run after date 3

Perhaps life would be easier if I was a fuckgirl, though I can’t imagine how well I would keep up all that pretense, effort and whirlwind romance for the sake of a ride. Everyone needs to watch ‘Love me Tinder’ on Netflix. It is an actual documentary portraying the life of a fuckboy. The lead claims, ‘most people think its a bad thing only because they cant do it’. Dates are now a mere routine because he has a set strategy, compiling the old school chivalry with the modern day hook up culture to provide a winning solution for girl falls for boy.

The people I know who were lucky enough to find love pre-Tinder tell me they would hate to be single right now.  I tell them love is now just a game of luck. Swipe for your life.

Quotes: Urban Dictionary

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