No Marriage Before Sex

It appears we take our sexual freedom for granted. We go through slutty phases of dating several men at once, no one really judges one night stands anymore and cheating is as common as condoms in a club toilet cubicle.

I was asked today what the common age for marriage in Ireland was. I replied ‘roughly thirty’, with that ‘roughly’ becoming increasingly uncertain. The question was asked by a 27 year old Indian guy of Hindu faith. He informed me that his parents are more than likely going to choose his partner. Here is the basic process:

  1. Once they have seen someone they like, they will then meet the girl’s family
  2. Parents will then spend a couple of hours interrogating the girl on her education background and home making skills.
  3. After that, should she still be deemed appropriate, a sex-free courtship will commence between him and her, a meeting will be arranged and he will have between 3-6 months to decide if he wants to marry her.

Astounded- I asked what would happen if he met a nice Irish girl? Nothing, he can only date an Indian woman and she most certainly has to be of the same faith or the next real-life Romeo and Juliet would be written.

I once let my mum play on my Tinder. She said ‘Yuck’ to about 20 then stopped on one and said ‘Now, that’s the one I’ve found him’ and it was as if it was end game. Here was this guy and that was simply it, I was to date this one and it shouldn’t be any more complicated than that. Turns out, I never actually matched with the guy of my mum’s choice.

If my parents were to choose my partner I imagine I would have a choice of Willie O’Dea or the guy from the local Spar shop. I also imagine a major factor in the selection process would be whether or not the guy would be of any use around their house for the odd job.

Then, say Willie O’Deas family were happy with me as a suitor and after a brief period of courtship sans co-habitation we did marry. What happens if then, after declaring my will-free love that I wasn’t happy with Willie’s willy? What if he snores? What if he isn’t house trained or has obscene fetishes that will never turn me on? As if the arranged marriage wasn’t bad enough, divorce is also frowned upon and extremely uncommon so I would be stuck inevitably with an unsatisfactory stick.

So before I whinge about the latest lad I ditched for being a me-feiner, lets take a moment to appreciate our various romantic encounters, however little or many there may be and here’s to sex before marriage, one night stands and repeatedly choosing the wrong partners all by ourselves (though it would be nice to have someone to blame). We’ve got it good.

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