Not That Funny

It’s the cheeky and charming ones that I fall for, they don’t even have to be that attractive, hence how I ended up with a certain ginger comedian. 

I was at his show and he decided to pick on me in the audience but didn’t expect a sarcastic response. I smiled at him when I went to the loo during half time and signed the newsletter sign up list. 

30 minutes after the gig I had a Facebook message from Mr.Funny requesting to know why I had fled the premises. We insulted eachother for a good 2 hours and I fell asleep texting him and woke up smiling and was greeted by a very cute message.  We arranged to go for a classy drink in the Dean but suddenly ended up in diceys, pissed on a school night. He didn’t make a single joke on the night and was surprisingly mannerly in the manic of the mobbed student night in diceys and bought me a few too many 2 euro jagerbombs. I knew that I was bordering on the temporary but toxic drunk in love state after shot number 5 and I decided it was home time. He walked me to a cab and bid me good night. 

3 months of dating games proceeded. Both parties acting like the Irish weather; unpredictable, every changing and often brash. One day he’s driving to from Dublin to limerick during Christmas to see me, the next he’s conveniently busy doing paperwork. Meanwhile I’m sending him pictures of me out partying with 8 men and also snapchatting examples of my baking skills. 

There came a day when I realised crazy Nadine was out and about. I didn’t want to kiss anyone else anymore but suddenly the insult games weren’t as fun nor was the banter wasn’t as funny. The novelty had worn off but the obsession prevailed and neither of us could go more than a few hours without texting eachother.

It wasn’t until month four till intuition and a clever friend inspired an extensive online creep where I discovered Mr Funny had an accompanying and long term Ms Funny. So, naturally I initiated a campaign to slay the dragon. I didn’t show up for dates, I invited him over at midnight and wasn’t in the mood, asked him to bring me breakfast and then not eat it but the most fun was testing to see how much of an asshole he actually was. 

He had met my best friend and she’s a stunning sweetheart with barbie perfect hair. He had refused to add me on Facebook with some lame excuse so I tried with her login. Within 11 minutes he was full on sexting her (aka me).

The next day he didn’t even see anything wrong with it. He denied having a girlfriend even though earlier that morning he she had tagged herself with him on Facebook watching Harry Potter @ “snuggled on the couch”

Beware of the ones who laugh a lot, dating them is not actually that funny. 

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