WE are all guilty. The club has finished, you’ve had lots of alcohol and your phone is in your hand. Option 1: call a taxi. Option 2: call or text someone. I usually pick the latter. Unfortunately, so do a lot of guys I know. Sometimes it is a booty call (I call these the testecalls), sometimes it’s just for a chat and sometimes it’s to give out to me. Sometimes it’s funny the next morning. Usually it is not.

My phone recently came abuzz at 4am on a Sunday morning with an email after a night that I had decided consuming half a litre of Absolut vodka was a great idea. There it was: a perfectly formatted, spelling error-free, two-page reminder of what a slut I apparently am. I read it, laughed and went back to sleep.  The next morning I showered what I hope was the majority of my night off and re-read it. The hangover may not have helped but it really upset me. Someone had actually gone out of their way to send a long hateful message to me. Someone had actually sat at a computer at four a.m. and put an effort into constructing 10 paragraphs, each pointing out a new reason as to why they can’t stand me. Funny thing is, I had met that guy a week earlier for coffee and it seemed like everything was fine between us. Why is it that we wait for the alcohol to give us the confidence to say what we really feel? If we really want to say something to someone then we should come just say it and not wait for an excuse.

There are entire websites dedicated to texts we send the night before. They are filled with cringe-worthy, heart-breaking messages filled with bad grammar. I’ve often woke up after a heavy night and pressed ‘delete all’ to all my texts for fear that my needy alter-ego made an appearance the night before.

Below is a short questionnaire which will hopefully provide a solution to this problem. Next time you are, tipsy ask yourselves these questions before you get text happy:

1. Is it past 12? If yes put the phone away, if not: proceed to question 2

2: Is your screen blurry? yes: put the phone away. No: proceed

3. Would you send this text/make this call sober? yes: proceed. no: put the phone away

Use your phone responsibly folks!

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