It was about 12 years ago, I was 26 and a single mother of a 2 year old boy. My mate decided I needed a bloke, I didn't really see the point but I got talked into meeting someone who she thought would be soooo suitable for me. I met him, in a working mens club. Now, I'm not a snob but c'mon, this was meant to be a first date? He was very rat like, smaller than me, skinny and he wore his hood up - this was before hoodies were the norm amongst young uns. He told me how much he hated his ex - so we were off to a great start not! I suggested we went somewhere else as we were getting stared at by the other 4 customers in the club. We went to the proper pub across the road and had a drink but it was dreadful, I even seriously contemplated climbing out of the bathroom window and getting a taxi home but I had arranged to stay at my friends that night - the one that organised the 'date' so I decided to persevere, only because I knew she was out herself at that time. We left that pub after I suggested moving on, cannily I suggested the pub that I knew my friend was in. We walk there and on the way he NEEDED to stop at a bus stop bench and skin up!!!!!! Skin up ffs - it was like dating a 16 year old. Then - if that wasn't bad enough he walked me to the pub through a graveyard and kept on and on at me asking if I was scared - I wasn't scared enough to let him get hold of me that's for sure. We arrived at the pub where I knew my mate would be, phew! I took a seat by the pool table as he went to get the drinks. The pool table area also had a TV in it and you know what it's like when there's a TV around - your eyes are like magnets to them. I was staring at the TV when he arrived with the drinks, not watching it, just staring I suppose - that's when he flipped. He accused me of staring at one of the pool players arses!!!! And, it wasn't a joke he got proper grieved over it, He went on and on and on and on and on at me. I was gobsmacked, 12 years later and recalling this I am still gobsmacked.

Well it started out fine... he picked me up from my house... all good... booked the tickets for the cinema and went for a nice drink while we waited..... lovely... We then do the whole small talk thing... he starts talking about the samdwich he had yesterday... in great detail! What bread it was, what was in it, what sauce went with it and so on! I was trying my best to sound interested but then when he started talking about how much debt he is in and that his family had to save him and nearly broke up over it... to make it worse he had the worst dull voice ever!! I really wanted to get out lol!! So I ended the date quite early and then as soon as he dropped me off, he insisted he come inside too (!) to meet my parents! The next day I woke up.. and had 4 texts and about 12 missed calls from him!! One of the texts was inviting himself to my house to watch a movie for that night!!! This carried on for about 2 weeks! Him hounding me with calls etc!! Terrible!!!

So I met 'Bob' through a mate on a drunken night out. He seemed like a nice bloke. We swapped numbers. He was a mate of a mate - so I figured he was pretty normal. Ex Squaddie. Nice build, ok looking. So about a week later we arrange to meet up for a drink. He texts me to tell me he is going to be late, so we meet up. He is kind of strange. No self confidence - yet all he likes to do is talk about himself. It was so awkward sitting there talking to him ... trying to make conversation. Then all of a sudden he starts telling me how he has had plastic surgery on his nose, his eyes and how he wants pec and ab implants next!!! I am thinking OMG get me out of here ... so I make my excuses and try to leave. Then he tells me that he will walk me to my car ... so I figure he is redeeming himself. He then tells me that I can drive him to his car! So being a mug I do ... then he starts trying to turn on the charm. Being a complete mug - then he grabs my hands spins me round does some dodgy sals-esque dancing and trys to kiss me ... its awful - so I tell him "mate you seriously need to sort it out" which he doesn't take too kindly to. Although he does tell me he would like to "bang me" becase apparently I am "fit and gagging for it" needless to say Mr Body Beautiful didn't get a 2nd date.

So he met me from the gym. He was wearing an old man fisherman jumper. I got on the bus to the pub, and he drove behind the bus on his motorbike. I bought the first, second and indeed third round. He talked about his kids (which he hadn't even mentioned when we first met!). I got the bus home. He drove off into the sunset on his motorbike. Wearing his old man fisherman jumper.

Sebastian arranged to meet me at the American Bar at the Savoy at 6.30. I arrived reasonably promptly to discover that he'd been in the bar since approx 2pm, chatting up American tourists, and was, not to put too fine a point on it, pissed as the proverbial newt. During dinner, he went down on one knee, proposed marriage, then promptly announced that he'd lost his credit card and I'd have to pay for the meal - which turned out to be over £200, since he'd ordered the one of the most expensive wines on the menu. I grumpily paid up, went to the Ladies, returned to the table to discover he'd disappeared. Eventually tracked him down in the lobby, on his mobile, whispering sweet nothings to another lucky girl! Needless to say, I went home alone and refused to take any of his calls. Never saw him again.

Though initially a seemingly nice guy, Ginger Norman would start to smoke like a chimney as soon as we left any bar/restaurant despite fooling me into thinking he was sporty with claims of training for a triathlon. But his worst crime was... he never kissed, didn't even try to - HOW RUDE! But then he would have had stale smelling breath anyway and my lips deserve more than that! A few months after I found out he'd been made redundant - a real shame...no do really I mean that...